The Eyes Have It

 

 

These eyes should not be confused with “ayes” which incidentally is pronounced the same way but with a different meaning and purpose:  ayes being those who voted in favor of something.  But, for most of the time, when we see a phrase like this, we intuitively and instinctively know that it pertains to the eyes in our head, and while incredibly simplistic, our eyes are and appear to look and be, they can be incredibly complex and difficult to read and/or ascertain.

For example, the Wall Street Journal recently published  a piece stating the ideal gaze should last no longer and no shorter than 7-10 seconds.  While that seems to make sense, assuming that the WSJ is a credible source of information, it is nonetheless rather mechanical to think one needs to mentally count off seconds in one’s mind while gazing into the eyes of the person to whom she/he is addressing.

The WSJ article continues by describing 4 different types of making eye contact:

·       The Table Talker

·       The Laser Gazer

·       The Drifter

·       The Faker

A Table Talker is one who looks down at the table or his/her notes when talking in a meeting.  Listeners perceive a lack of self-confidence with either himself or what he is reading.

The Laser Gazer looks intensely into to eyes of the listener while talking which give the impression to the listener that he/she is trying to dominate the conversation and oftentimes appears creepy.

The Drifter cannot make eye contact with anyone very long and looks quickly into the eyes of listener before moving on to the next, giving the listener the impression of distrust.

The Faker does something else while talking with the listener, rarely fooling the listener and causing resentment.

 

Which one of these are you?

 

Which one(s) have you observed in others?  And, how did that awareness make you feel?

As a teacher, I find it interesting to watch students in my classroom to see which ones make eye contact and which ones do not and secretly know inside that this personality will follow them the rest of their lives unless they see what they are doing and decide to change.

Sadly, I all too often see the lack of eye or the Faker contact among our leaders whereas sales people usually possess the Laser Gazer approach.  A variation of this Laser Gazer behavior is when people of the opposite sex stare at each longer than 10 seconds, completely oblivious to what they are doing.

The eyes really do have it...