Becoming Mentally Strong

Here are 9 essential habits and practices of mentally strong people that can help you get through any challenge or hardship.

I.  See things objectively.

There's a maxim in the ancient philosophy of Stoicism, "There is no good or bad, there is only perception," which was later echoed in Shakespeare's famous line, "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

The way we perceive a situation has a tremendous power to either help or harm us. So often, we react emotionally and project negative judgments onto a situation, when the first key to overcoming a challenge is to see things objectively.

So the elements of that are:

• Your perception.
• Can you see things clearly and evenly?
• Can you think creatively?
• Can you think out of the box kinds?
• What is your determination?

II.  Let go of entitlement.

We all deserve happiness, but we don't deserve a life free from obstacles or setbacks. An attitude of entitlement -- thinking that we deserve to get what we want most or all of the time -- can make it much more difficult to deal with challenges when they come around and take you by surprise.

Mentally strong people recognize that their entire life plans, and life itself, could be derailed at any moment -- and they don't waste their effort feeling wronged by destiny when things don't quite go their way.

III.  Keep an even keel.

Emotional stability and the ability to keep a cool head is an enormous asset when it comes to dealing with challenging situations. Fortunately, emotional stability tends to increase with age -- and it should come as no surprise that we become happier as a result.

IV.  Don't aspire to be happy all the time.

Excessive preoccupation with happiness can actually lead to an unhealthy attitude towards negative emotions and experiences. Mentally strong people don't try to avoid negative emotions -- rather, accepting both positive and negative emotions and letting different feelings coexist is a key component of resiliency.

Australian social researcher Hugh Mackay argues that our cultural obsession with happiness can be dangerous, and that instead of worrying about being happy, we should concern ourselves with being whole.

V.  Be a realistic optimist.

Mentally tough people make a habit of getting up after they fall. Instead of getting upset, feeling hopeless and giving up in the face of obstacles, they take the opportunity to put on their thinking caps and come up with a creative solution to the problem at hand. Mentally strong people tend to be realistic optimists -- they have the hopefulness of optimists and the clarity of pessimists -- which gives them both the motivation and the critical thinking required to come up with creative solutions.

VI.  Live in the present moment.

Being present -- rather than dwelling on the past or anticipating the future -- allows you to see things as they really are. Whether or not they have a formal meditation or mindfulness practice, mentally strong people tend to have a mindful, attentive way of engaging with the world.

The science has demonstrated that mindfulness really can boost your brain power. Mindfulness practice has been linked with emotional stability, reduced stress and anxiety, and improved mental clarity.

VII.  Be persistent in the pursuit of your goals.

We've all heard inspiring stories of amazingly successful people who overcame significant hardships and failures to get there. They're exhibiting one of the most fundamental qualities of resilient people: Perseverance, or as psychologist Angela Lee Duckworth puts it, grit.

"In all those different contexts, one factor emerged as a secret to success, and it wasn't social intelligence, good looks, physical health or IQ. It was grit," Duckworth said in a TED talk. "Grit is passion or perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in and day out -- not just for a day, not just for a month, but for years -- to make that future a reality."

VIII.  Know when it's time to let go.

Just as important as perseverance is the ability to recognize that you can control only your own actions -- not the results of those actions. Accepting this fact allows us to resign to the things that are beyond our power.

Stoicism, is yielding to the things that you can't change and making the best of them, rather than allowing them to upset or frustrate you. We need strength, determination and perseverance, but these aren't the answer in every situation. The mentally strong person lives by the Serenity Prayer -- they change what they can control, accept what they can't control, and know the difference between the two.

IX.  Love your life.

Amor fati is a Latin term that translates to "love of fate," a concept derived from the ancient Greek and Roman Stoic philosophers that later reemerged in the work of Nietzsche. And it's perhaps the single most important key to mental strength.

Mentally strong people are grateful and appreciative of obstacles because of the simple fact that obstacles are life itself…  

they are one’s path.