Living With the Fear of Success

This subject is going to be a touchy one about which to write since so many people have completely different definitions of what it is to be or not be successful. 

The most logical interpretation of being a success revolves around:

• Annual Salary
• Position/Authority
• Power over People
• Number of Assets
• Education
• Size of Office
• Reaching One's Goals
• Level of Spiritual Beliefs

and, I am sure that this list could go on and on and on... but, do not have the time, space, or the inclination to make a complete list at this point-in-time in my life... as, there ain't much of it left.

Sometimes, success does not pertain to any of these at all for any reason and under any circumstances because the individual just does not give a “rat's ass” if they are successful or not as they just want to live as they want to live and do whatever it is that they want to do without any goals at all... and, that is fine... but, in so doing, there are indirectly saying that doing this is being successful for them... unless, death is their true measure of success.

And, while I am on that subject of death... it would seem like to me that this is what most Christians would deem as what real success might or would mean to them... since death puts them into an afterlife wherever that afterlife might/might not be actually taking place.

I have always maintained the assumption that Christians were exactly like those who purchased Life Insurance... the longer you life the more you are going to invest in your life insurance policy, so taking out life insurance is hedging one's bets that they are going to die early or at least earlier than later... which is the same premise under which Christians live their lives... wanting to die as quickly as possible... so that they can PASS OVER... into whatever it is that may/may not be awaiting them.

But, this is not an article about Christians as much as it is one on keeping from being a success...

Now... granted... this does not happen to all those who by their definitions become successful but it does happen more often than we would like to admit and that is:

• Successful people think they are above the law
• Successful people think the ends justify the means
• Successful people become alcoholics
• Successful people drug addicts (cocaine is typically their drug of choice)
• Successful people become obsessed with work
• Successful people become obsessed with keeping their money
• Successful people spend money like a drunken sailor
• Successful people cannot have meaningful intimate relationships
• Successful people have multiple marriages
• Successful people are really egotistical and arrogant
• Successful people make the rules as they go by which they live
• Successful people do not send the elevator back down for others

Aside from being rather condescending here... I am fully aware that my list does not pertain to everybody nor does every single point pertain to everybody... but a majority of my points do and at least 75-80% of the successful people resemble one or more of these indicators.

Now, I don't know about the rest of you who may/may not be reading this and frankly I don't give a damn whether you agree with this or not, but this list alone is enough to scare away anyone or most anyone from ever wanting to be successful including myself... because, there is really nothing on this list that to which I would ever want to aspire... how about you?

So, that is really one good reason why people may not want to be successful, but that is really what I am talking about either...

What I am talking about are those people who WANT to be successful and who WANT to enjoy every single one of those negative points listed above but who sabotage their own developments or their own movements that would take them into that direction.

Why?

Why would anyone in their right mind really not want to be successful?

I mean... to not want to be successful... is like being anti-American...

Can you imagine someone leaving the comforts of their home and family to travel wherever they need to travel in order to join ISIS but then once they get there, they do not want ISIS to be successful... I mean that is ludicrous... even ISIS wants to be successful.

So, why do some not want to be successful?

Partly, because of change... believe it or not Mr. Ripley... there are people who deep down inside their subconsciousness where the so-called “boogie man” resides, there is another troll that is punching them in the ribs every they express a desire to be successful... because they do not want to get there... and, change... or, let someone down after they get there.

I would have to say that I am a typical example of this type of situation so I have first hand knowledge of how this can and does happen.

My parents knew the person who developed the IQ test and I was tested by this same person using this test as it was being develop and my results show incredibly high scores... and so my parents pushed me without any explanations and so I resisted without any explanations.

When I started my percussion lessons and my Marine Band Lead Percussionist who was my teacher said I could be a professional before high school because I had natural talent... well, I stopped pursuing that area of interest.

When my football coach said that I had natural talent for playing the sport plus I had the body and speed to be a great football player with the right coaching and guidance... well, I decided that I would lose interest in that sport and pretty much all sports together just in case I were to hear those words again from another coach.

When my SAT scores showed that I had an unusually high aptitude with with Math/Science but not with English, I decided that my best direction with college was for my to pursue an English Degree because math and science made me think to hard.

So... why talk about this now? Well, there is not enough time left in my life to get really, really good at anything else in case I were to find out that I have a latent aptitude or skill; and, because if someone who might be reading this and can benefit from my stupidity... then, at least I can help that person at least try...

There is absolutely no need to be afraid of being successful and there are no guarantees that you are going to end up exactly how those other successful assholes ended up.