Resilience
and
Change
By Janet Arnold-Grych
Routine has a lot going for it. It allows critical
aspects of our lives to flow more efficiently. It provides comfort and safety.
It tethers us to the familiar while we reach for the unknown. But too much
routine can whitewash experience, allowing the big things and the little
things, the surprises and delights, to slip by unnoticed. That's why we need
the unexpected -- to clean the lens of experience and recalibrate our
awareness. Part of embracing the unexpected is simply being open to what we
find and what finds us. Another is planning for it.
My dear friend Tom is a yogi, former college
administrator and community volunteer. He's also an expert at planning the
unexpected. For years, he and a small band of friends have created "travel
mysteries," most within the city of Milwaukee. While one of the group
members organizes the event, the rest receive clues about the theme of the day
and instructions on what to wear and where to meet.
They've done this dozens of
times. Imagine re-encountering your community over and over. Could you find a
freshness you'd missed -- 30 times before? Could you embrace every mystery
offered to you, even if it wasn't quite your cup of tea?
I got to thinking. What if I attempted to re-frame my
day as a mystery tour? I wouldn't have to like everything I encountered or
arranged, but I would need to commit to injecting change and welcoming it with
a sense of openness and curiosity. I planned a few non-routine moves.
I took a
different route to work. When I stopped for coffee, I took in the vibe and not
my cell phone. At work, I sought out colleagues rather than my chair, and made
time to read an article on creativity. I felt energized.
Breaking out of routine by consciously substituting
"B" for "A" may seem inconsequential. Yet even a small
shift can hold importance, enabling us to see things differently and advance
toward our goals. Clinical psychologist, author and inspirational speaker Maria
Sirois, a Kripalu faculty member, sees value in those small steps.
"In
order to change anything, we have to change something," she says. "So
if we seek a happier, more meaningful life, a healthier body, a more resilient
attitude or any other change, we have to change something. There is something
else important to remember: when we step outside our comfort zone, we often
surprise ourselves with our capacity. Life becomes bigger, and we become bigger
in it."
On my "mystery day," I was feeling this
dynamism in action. But when the afternoon included a mystery not of my
planning -- a project shift and the obsolescence of hours of work I had done --
I did not cheer. This was not my desired mystery experience.
There's no guarantee that the unexpected, the
non-routine, will come wrapped in ribbons. As Maria says, "Our efforts are
not always going to work or to be pleasant. That is the nature of attempting
something new. The greatest attitude shift we can carry into the path of
transformation is to be ready and willing to learn anyway. When we hold this
perspective, then all of our experiences have the potential to enable us to
grow -- not simply the ones that worked out just right."
Changing my perspective on the project wasn't as
easy as flipping a switch, but my "mystery day" orientation did
enable me to find a new view faster. Stepping out of routine fed a greater
agility that enabled me to more easily embrace the situation. I became bigger.
I was even able to find some measure of humor in the circumstances and, while
still not cheering, be open to what I might learn in this next iteration.
Creating and welcoming opportunities for a new view open us up to greater
experience. It softens expectation for what "should be" and emboldens
us to reach for the new rather than cling to the known. And it starts by
changing something.
When routine, whether in action or attitude, becomes
too comfortable or constrictive, it's often a clue we're limiting ourselves.
There's an invitation waiting -- to look again and discover a new spaciousness.
It's here, in this spaciousness, that we're better able to notice the big
things and the little things. And when we gather the courage to create change,
we find a freshness that keeps us fully engaged in the unfolding mystery.
Janet Arnold-Grych is a marketing manager and a yoga
teacher.
