Are You Holding Back?

Resilience 

and 

Change

By Janet Arnold-Grych

Routine has a lot going for it. It allows critical aspects of our lives to flow more efficiently. It provides comfort and safety. It tethers us to the familiar while we reach for the unknown. But too much routine can whitewash experience, allowing the big things and the little things, the surprises and delights, to slip by unnoticed. That's why we need the unexpected -- to clean the lens of experience and recalibrate our awareness. Part of embracing the unexpected is simply being open to what we find and what finds us. Another is planning for it.

My dear friend Tom is a yogi, former college administrator and community volunteer. He's also an expert at planning the unexpected. For years, he and a small band of friends have created "travel mysteries," most within the city of Milwaukee. While one of the group members organizes the event, the rest receive clues about the theme of the day and instructions on what to wear and where to meet. 

They've done this dozens of times. Imagine re-encountering your community over and over. Could you find a freshness you'd missed -- 30 times before? Could you embrace every mystery offered to you, even if it wasn't quite your cup of tea?

I got to thinking. What if I attempted to re-frame my day as a mystery tour? I wouldn't have to like everything I encountered or arranged, but I would need to commit to injecting change and welcoming it with a sense of openness and curiosity. I planned a few non-routine moves. 

I took a different route to work. When I stopped for coffee, I took in the vibe and not my cell phone. At work, I sought out colleagues rather than my chair, and made time to read an article on creativity. I felt energized.

Breaking out of routine by consciously substituting "B" for "A" may seem inconsequential. Yet even a small shift can hold importance, enabling us to see things differently and advance toward our goals. Clinical psychologist, author and inspirational speaker Maria Sirois, a Kripalu faculty member, sees value in those small steps. 

"In order to change anything, we have to change something," she says. "So if we seek a happier, more meaningful life, a healthier body, a more resilient attitude or any other change, we have to change something. There is something else important to remember: when we step outside our comfort zone, we often surprise ourselves with our capacity. Life becomes bigger, and we become bigger in it."

On my "mystery day," I was feeling this dynamism in action. But when the afternoon included a mystery not of my planning -- a project shift and the obsolescence of hours of work I had done -- I did not cheer. This was not my desired mystery experience.

There's no guarantee that the unexpected, the non-routine, will come wrapped in ribbons. As Maria says, "Our efforts are not always going to work or to be pleasant. That is the nature of attempting something new. The greatest attitude shift we can carry into the path of transformation is to be ready and willing to learn anyway. When we hold this perspective, then all of our experiences have the potential to enable us to grow -- not simply the ones that worked out just right."

Changing my perspective on the project wasn't as easy as flipping a switch, but my "mystery day" orientation did enable me to find a new view faster. Stepping out of routine fed a greater agility that enabled me to more easily embrace the situation. I became bigger. I was even able to find some measure of humor in the circumstances and, while still not cheering, be open to what I might learn in this next iteration. 

Creating and welcoming opportunities for a new view open us up to greater experience. It softens expectation for what "should be" and emboldens us to reach for the new rather than cling to the known. And it starts by changing something.

When routine, whether in action or attitude, becomes too comfortable or constrictive, it's often a clue we're limiting ourselves. There's an invitation waiting -- to look again and discover a new spaciousness. It's here, in this spaciousness, that we're better able to notice the big things and the little things. And when we gather the courage to create change, we find a freshness that keeps us fully engaged in the unfolding mystery.

Janet Arnold-Grych is a marketing manager and a yoga teacher.

Parents Want Mary Jane

A new survey released recently reveals that a majority of American parents support medical marijuana legalization, and nearly half support legalization for recreational use.

Perhaps more surprising is the unexpected author of the study: The Partnership at Drugfree.org, one of the harshest critics of drug use in the nation.

In the survey, titled "Marijuana: It's Legal, Now What?" the Partnership addresses the growing acceptance of marijuana in the country.

"With marijuana now legal for recreational use in Colorado and Washington State, for medical use in 18 states and the District of Columbia, and effectively decriminalized in 14 states, it's clear that society's approach to marijuana is changing dramatically," the authors wrote.

Seventy percent of respondents said they favor medical marijuana legalization, 52 percent favor marijuana decriminalization and 42 percent favor legalization for recreational use. The Partnership interviewed 1,603 adults, 1,200 of whom were parents of children ages 10 to 19.

Interestingly, support for each of the three legalization scenarios -- medical legalization, decriminalization and legalization for recreational use –- increased by anywhere from 3 to 11 percentage points when respondents were provided with more details explaining the meaning of each one.

While the survey may be seen as a sign that the Partnership is becoming a more progressive organization, some marijuana supporters view the move as a begrudging acceptance of an inevitable situation.

"This is a classic repositioning move from advocates who know they've badly lost an argument with the American people," Tom Angell, founder and chairman of the marijuana reform organization Marijuana Majority, said in an email. "It's great to see the Partnership conceding that marijuana legalization is no longer a matter of if and that the key question now is how marijuana will be regulated in the post-prohibition era."

Despite the growing acceptance of marijuana use in the nation, there was one area that did not see support from survey respondents: teen use. For example, in Colorado, where recreational marijuana is legal, 85 percent of parents surveyed agreed that marijuana can have negative consequences on teen development.

Angell argued that if more people supported legalization, marijuana would be regulated in a safe and efficient way.

"A clear and growing majority of Americans support marijuana reform," he said. "I welcome those who unsuccessfully tried to stand in the way of progress to now do the mature, responsible thing by coming to the table to help craft regulations that will keep young people safer than prohibition ever could."