A Confession of Sorts

I was raised on privilege but not necessarily spoiled other than the privilege I received but I did grow up with certain preconceived ideas and ideals with which others did not have to deal, consequently my nature was strongly influenced by my personality and that personality did not want to follow any rules at all unless they were constructed by me.

I learned very quickly how that attitude would work to my disadvantage but it did not seem to deter me at all, even though during my 45 year working career, I was terminated 10 times... and, that in a non bragging way, is being let go every 4.5 years.

It is very difficult to build up retirement with this kind of attitude and to be quite honest with you, no retirement was actually built up by me, so I am a victim of whatever the Feds are willing to give someone like me, who, did in fact work 40 quarters.

I know a lot of things but to say that I know myself is not necessarily true, nor do I know from an absolute standpoint what it is that I actually believe anymore, if I ever believed anything in the first place.

My last employer was an educational institution and I worked there for 3 years teaching courses in business management with only a MBA degree while most of the other instructors had PhDs. My competitive advantage in the classroom was that I could bring in scenarios from the so-called “real world,” which could not and would not ever be found in textbooks.

I also thought that bringing out the negative and putting it on the table like Thanksgiving Dinner would give us a chance to either eat it or replace it with something else to eat.

For 3 years and to about 1000 students I would tell them that if they did not like what I said that they could simply go down to the Dean and tell them... and if, the Dean did not like what I said and I was fired... that I would simply go to the house and sit on my deck from that point on, drinking coffee and pondering the end, less universe while collecting money from the Government.

Well, it took 3 years, but someone finally went to the Dean and I was fired immediately for some damn reason but when I filled for unemployment and my former employer tried to prevent that from happening, they could not provide any evidence at all to justify my termination.

Still, I was terminated... and, that was that... and here I am drinking coffee and pondering the universe.

This happened to me at 66 years of age and I am now 67 years of age and you would think that I would have learned my lesson by now, but I guess I have not...

Why is that, you ask?

Because I am still writing controversial articles that enrage a lot of people... which is exactly what I have been doing all my life and pretty much the reason why I do not have any friends or very few... no, there is really only 1 and I am not counting my wife, so I suppose there are 2... but, don't ask her because I am not exactly sure if I can count on her or not.

So, what is it that I am trying to confess?

I write all these articles, some of which, are intentionally written to create controversy with the reader and the confession then is the knowledge that I am not sure why it is that I do that?

My wife says that I just want to create an argument and that I would argue with anyone over anything... and, while that might be partially true but certainly is her perception, it is not totally true... because part of me sincerely and seriously wants to know if the other person really believes in what they believe or if they are just trying to convince me that they believe in something to see if they can.

There are certain subjects that are for all intents and purposes “hands off” in public forums, such as:

1. 2^nd Amendment Rights
2. Abortion
3. Same Sex Marriage
4. Creation versus Evolution
5. Atheism
6. Terrorism
7. Putting America Down
8. Pickup Truck & Rednecks
9. Anti-military
10. Homosexuals
11. Racism and/or Sexism
12. Woman Liberation

It is not that people are not willing to talk about these subjects because they are... they are actually more than willing... but, it is a no win argument, as people have preconceived ideas and strong beliefs for whatever reason and these kinds of arguments will get heated at times. And, rather than seriously arguing they are just trying to find clever ways to put down the other person... in the hope of making he/she look ridiculous...

So, this is my confession and to some degree, I feel like someone who walks into the middle of a crowed room and stands there for a minute or two passing gas and then walks to the corner of the room where that person stands observing behavior.

But, while this is a confession this is not any kind of admission that I am, in fact, out of gas to pass, because I assure you that I am not... and, no doubt, I will write another article very shortly that again steps of peoples toes and off we go...

Maybe before that happens my wife will retire and want us to travel all the time and in so doing there will be precious little time to write at all... who knows for sure. And, I suppose that people could complain about what I have written and my account will be shut down again like it was before... but, I suppose that is all part of the same game as well... and, it is very easy to start again under a new name and email address.

And what goes around comes around make very little difference to me at my age as I will write my thoughts down somewhere even if I don't have an audience... just like I did my poetry... and, in case you are wondering which you are probably not, I have written over 42,000 poems.