5/04/2015

Getting off on Cocktails

“As you are aware,” my Oncologist said... 


and, immediately my mind went to...  


“I hate that sh_t when a doctor starts off like that, especially an Oncologist,”



I thought to myself... 

and, as soon as I did, I triggered a finite set if involuntary memories that splattered in my head like roadkill on an Interstate Highway, right before you get caught for speeding by “The Law.”

And, in my memory reflections, I thought:
at 10... I was naively innocent
at 20... I was unavailable and unattainable
at 30... I was stupidly foolish
at 40... I was reluctantly cautious
at 50... I was fraught with pride and ego
at 60... I was physically and emotionally humbled


It is odd, I mused and at 67, I find myself musing a lot and I know not why I now muse but I do and I reflected when younger than 50 and I know that for sure.

And, in this muse, I was wondering why I was reflecting on those decades and labeling as I did because I surely could and probably would have assigned another phrase to each of those decades if I had been in another mood or if it had been another day, but that was not these... and, it was today...

I looked thoughtfully at my Oncologist and nodded in agreement as he continued, “when you returned to me...” and, “there he goes with that sh_t again... it wasn't my fault... I moved out-of-town for business,” I thought to myself, starting to get annoyed.

your blood work indicated that you had lost your immunity... your red count was down; your white count was down; you platelets were down, and your hemoglobin was down... so, we became treating you for that and it looks like today you have made a surprising recovery from all of that...”

So really... what was I supposed to think here... at this point... I mean, isn't this your job doc,” I wondered to myself if I should ask this or perhaps was it even fair for me to this this shi_t?

I put you on a maintenance program because of a previous CT scan and the scan last week shows absolute no change...”

Well now,” I thought to myself, “this is the kinda sh_t that I wanted to hear...” smiling like Jack Nicholson in the movie, As Good As It Gets, and you know exactly which scene I mean.

We will continue the maintenance program for another 6 months when I see you again...” the Oncologist said confidently, and extending his hand forward for a traditional handshake said, “nice to see you again,” whereupon he left the room.

I looked at myself in the mirror as if to say... “You've got to be kiddin' me... I paid forty dollars for this sh_t?”

Now don't get me wrong here... this guy is very good, and probably one of the best blood Oncologists in the State maybe even the Nation... but, he could have sent an NP to tell me this sh_t and I would not have had to wait 45 minutes in the lobby and another 30 minutes in the exam room... but, I suppose this is just the way it is...

Ok, gotcha... I forgot you did not know... NP is Nurse Practitioner...

Once I get past the office visit, the rest of the time simply flies by... I boogie on down to check out and set up another appointment for the month after next, then over to the lab, where I did not get a chance to check emails on my cell phone before my name is called and I am taken back to the Cherry Suite where I have my choice of chairs among 6 available.

I pick the one by the window because it is typically cooler and plop myself down in the recliner but only after visiting the restroom. In less than 5 minutes, a nurse (not sure what kind and I never thought to ask actually) comes out and asks which arm (for the infusion).

This nurse has a chance of sticking me 3 times and on the 3rd failed attempt the nurse must turn it over to someone else for another 3 sticks if necessary. Every once in a while, I get 4 sticks but mainly it is only 1 and occasionally I is 2... but, if that nurse has to go for 3, then it means I get 4 sticks because that has happened in every single situation since I started this chemo stuff in 2007.

In fact, today's infusion brought me up to 65 chemo treatment... and, the horrible memory of how “wicked” some of those treatments were 2-3 days later.

The cocktails that I have had, have been administered to me in the following order:
Rituxin
Rituxan-Fludara-Cytoxin
Rituxan-Triandra
Rituxan

The second cocktail was by fair the worst. I would have 3 chemo treatments on back-to-back days, like Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursady lasting 2-3 hours on Tuesday and Wednesday, 6-8 hours on Thursdays. On those Fridays after the treatments, I was so pumped up on steroids, I felt like Hercules himself... without the muscles or the women....

But, on Saturdays and Sundays, I slept and spent most of my days in the bathroom lying on the floor and not because I wanted to but because I wanted to make I got there in time and in some cases, I was too weak to walk back to the bed.

About every 20-30 minutes, around the clock, for those 2 days, I would break out in a heated sweat but only from the waist up where perspiration dripped off on me like I had just climbed out of a hottub which would leave me dizzy, disoriented, and faint and nausea would swarm around me like yellow jackets do when you tamper with their hives, especially in the ground.

The vomiting may or may not take place every time, but if it did, my body would be arched up as if some giant person was standing over me with both arms locked together around my stomach and pulling me up in jerking motions while I tried to remain attached to the ground.

Sometimes on Sundays, this cycle was intermittent while at the same time relentless and lasted longer; for instance, it might last for 90 minutes straight but then there would be nothing for a couple of hours and on those occasions, my wife would take me to the emergency room which typically is not covered by health insurance where for $150 +/but no minus, I would get myself pumped full of liquids and my “better than an dog friend,” Zofran which had an IMMEDIATE reaction on me.

Cocktail #3 had the same 1-2 days of sickness but on a scale of 1-10 would rank about maybe 2-3 but it still left me weak, tired, and drained.

So far, no radiation and no loss of hair (which is peculiar to me only) and no extreme or any (for that matter) loss of weight; in fact, I have gained 35 pounds over the course of 2-3 years, even with me walking fast 30 minutes a day, at least 5 days a week, sometimes 7 days.

We have a tread mill and have decided that I will not just be reducing my meals and eating 6 times a day but I will walk briskly on the treadmill for 20 minutes, 3 times a day until this weight is again under control.

Ordinarily, the weight would not be a serious problem for me but I have also suffered a severe heart attack, have 5 stents inserts into 3 left side heart arteries and will have heart disease for the rest of my life.

I have been blessed with the fact that my cancer is mild and rather controllable at least for the time being. Some cancers, like bad leaders and leadership, will have you dead in 3-6 months. And, I have been told that mine could change into that... and, I suppose that when it does that I will just put my head between my legs and kiss my butt goodbye.

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