It Never Ends Until It Ends

When I was but a lad, I found fulfillment when I was with “my boys” as Paul Simon put it in one of his songs, as we would constantly “pal around,” doing the “things” that lads do, but in the summer months when there was no school to attend, May 1 of every year was a special time of the year for me because my mother would always take me shopping for a new pair of summer tennis shoes and they were always black with high tops. 

 And, while they looked incredible out-of-the-box, by the time school started again in September, the black color was dingy and the fabric itself was starting to tear in places.

June not only saw the “real” beginning of warm weather but it was also a time that marked a new pair of Levis for me and it was not just any kind but a special brand of Levis that shrunk when wet... and, once I was back from the store and was wearing my baggy jeans, I would go outside, turn on the water hose and completely soak in water those jeans I was wearing, I would spend the rest of the day or morning (depending upon how hot) wearing those jeans, letting them dry and shrink so that they fit my body perfectly.

Just as every summer ended so too did my youth, as I graduated into the 6^th grade where “all of a sudden” like, I was different... not just in the way I dressed but in the way that I thought and in the way that I spoke and no longer played those “silly” after school games and when the summers arrived, I had borrowed money from my parents to buy a lawnmower and began mowing neighbor's lawns for $4 if I used my mower and for $3 if I used their mower and gas. However, the thrill left quickly when my parents informed me that I had to save half of everything that I earned... so, all my purchase plans went out the window.

But that too ended, as did high school, college, the military, grad school, and my first marriage; and yet, my life continue to evolve and continued to move forward year after year after year until I realized that I could no longer double my age to predict when it might be over for me... knowing that being over could happen almost any day at any time at any place; still, it was a sobering realization because at 40, there was 80 and then at 45 there was 90... but, at 50 there was 100... when it would be time to ask the fat lady to sing.

BUT... I was missing the point...

It was not actually over until it was actually over... or, to say it another way, life does not end until it ends and while easy for some, perhaps many of us to say, it is a hard concept to wrap one's mind around because of the various ending stages (or milestones) of our life.

There is a decade of a male's life that are referred to as the Hurricane Years which are typically from 40-50 but they can also be from 50-60 but during this decade, males have one last burst of energy, that if executed right, will take them to the next level or even 1-2 above that... in other words, they rise to a certain level and then they coast until retirement and they are remembered (at least in their minds) for that last accomplishment.

Those Hurricane Years never happened to me because I had, throughout my career, been in Middle to Upper Management positions, so there was nothing for me to still accomplish... it was just SOS as they say... and so, I simply continued working because that seemed to be the best thing to do... regardless of my position or level of income. I had no debt so it was easier to accept less plus I had no great plans to fly around the world and dine in every major restaurant along the way... I mean eating food is just like drinking very expensive wine.... as the body has been exclusively designed to purge itself of liquids and solids... at least eventually... but, for some of us it is everyday... so, stuff like that does not stay very long inside... so, what's the point?

As odd as this may seem to be and as odd as I may seem to be, when one thinks about what I just said, one must surely realize the brilliant simplicity of how to save money by understand and coming to appreciate the bodily functions of human beings.

At the age of 60 and as I have mentioned before, this “really nice” body that had been given to me at birth was starting to show signs of “wear and tear,” as I was diagnosed with cancer and the fact that I had had a heart attack somewhere along the line that should have killed me... but obviously did not... which is another (and also perfect) example of how “It Never Ends Until It Ends.” So, I stepped down into the ranks of teaching so that I could continue working... but not so much because I did not know what else I was going to do, but because I really enjoyed what I was doing for the first time in my life.

For 7 years, I dumped knowledge into young minds, some of which were bottomless pits while some were paved over land fills and/or swamps; but, there was always the chance that there was a distant light in there somewhere still burning. Retirement came rather abruptly... which is how it typically happens, when I was persuaded to turn in my security badge and office keys... and, I decided (at last) I have a new pair of high top black tennis shoes that I am going to wear everyday as I sit on my back porch drinking black coffee with Cappuccino Mix (2 spoons) and write my thoughts down on paper in the form or poems and/or articles...

I was home free... BUT, what I did not realize is the fact that “It Never Ends Until It Ends.” And, how dare me to be premature in my thoughts.

So, I am back teaching for another University and as part of that new commitment, there will be Project Management concentrations written for the MBA and BBA programs and who knows, I may even end up back on the payroll as a full time employee... which will not exactly make my wife happy as she is retiring at the end of this month or about 7 days away; however, I am not sure after spending several weekends with this lady over the last 20 years that is not necessarily for us both to be in the same house together for extended periods of time... LOL

For me, life will continue as my involvement continues in work, vacations, and simply enjoying life without pressures as it was always intended... or, intended from the standpoint that it makes sense to live one's life like that.

And, as long as one continues to make a contribution (whatever that contribution might be) then life will respond likewise and you will come to know and appreciate... “It Never Ends Until It Ends.”