Cranial Rectal Inversion

Let me say that it would normally not be accepted by most people on any social media forum if I were to tell someone to: Go “F” yourself... but, would not draw much attention to myself if I had said: Go Fornicate yourself.

So, it is not really the phrase per se that bothers, it is the use of what I might refer to as “gutter slang,” or words that are not used by those with proper upbringing.

Of course, to that I say bullshit.... which apparently is ok nowadays because I have heard “the word” used often on television shows.

Armed with this new information, I can tell my colleagues (if I had any) that it is not ok to say:

Piss but it is ok to say micturate

or,

Shit but it is ok to say defecate

or

Ass but it is ok to say bum or butt

or

Tits but it is ok to say breasts; however, the use of “boobs” is a fence straddler I suppose...

Now, I know first hand and from previous experience that giving someone “the finger” is completely inappropriate in all situations at work and not at work.

I recall a situation a few years ago when I was teaching and students were signing up for my classes instead of the classes of other instructors who had been there longer and that this had caused so much animosity between me and the others that when one of those instructors walked by my open door classroom and stood at the entrance and gave me “the bird” which is another way of saying “the finger” and I flipped one back at him, that I was turned into the Dean of Students.

As a result, I was called into the office of the Dean of Students to explain my behavior and informed the Dean that it was the other guy, not me, that she should be talking to.

“Why,” she asked?

“Because,” I stated forcefully, “that other guy gave me the finger first and I merely held up the back of my hand and asked him to guess what was camouflaged and grinned. So technically, I never really gave him the finger unless you want to reprimand me for intent?”

She was a little frustrated by my response and told me to leave even though I had informed her that I would be glad to demonstrate my response for her. But, before I left her office I could tell that she was no cat.

I don't know if you knew this or not but there are 7 Dirty Words that can never be said on television and I am not going to share them here either, so if you want to know what they are out of curiosity, then you are going to have to look them up yourself.

However, I will share this with you:

During one of Lenny Bruce's performances in 1966, he said he was arrested for saying nine words.

And,

In 1972, George Carlin released an album of stand-up comedy entitled Class Clown. One track on the album was "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television," a monologue in which he identified these words, expressing amazement that these particular words could not be used, regardless of context. He was arrested for disturbing the peace when he performed the routine at a show at Summerfest in Milwaukee.

And,
On his next album, 1973's Occupation: Foole, Carlin performed a similar routine titled "Filthy Words," dealing with the same list and many of the same themes. Pacifica station WBAI broadcast this version of the routine uncensored on October 30 that year.

All 7 words including the 2 extra words added by Lenny Bruce are readily available in in many novels today which can be purchased at any bookstore by male or female regardless of age and/or checked out of most any public library. So, it must be ok to read these words... and, the words can be freely articulated on the playground of any elementary school as long as there are no teachers around as well as in the privacy of your own home, although many parents would frown on their usage until you are a certain age.

Here is what CBS.com says,

Simply put, profanity is “abusive, vulgar, or irreverent language” (at least that’s what dictionary.com says). Taking this vague definition at face value, one could say that profanity includes much more than the common words we label as "curse" words. That’s a whole other discussion. For now, the debate is foundational; should Christians curse?

Although the Bible doesn’t explicitly ban the use of profanity, there are scriptures that seem to discourage it.

From the What Christians Want to Know website, we read this:

A euphemisms is where one word is substituted for another. When people say “gheeze” or jeewiz, they are actually substituting these words as euphemisms. These are euphemisms for Jesus’ name. They might not think that they are actually swearing but even using names as a substitution, it is considered sin.

Clearly, we have differences of opinions from these 2 different Christian sites, so you can imagine all the interpretations that might available to us, further confusing this issue.

One of my pet peeves is not to use these words around females and really don;t think much of other males that do; but, whenever I am in the presence of at least two females... well, their language is oftentimes worse that what I remember was being used fluently in the Navy... and, their jokes are much dirtier than the ones I hear men telling... and, much more humorous too.

Sometimes, I have told my students (when the subject comes up in conversation) that some cuss words are used as adjectives because there just isn't any other word that really fits and damn sure doesn't convey the intended point...

For instance... “You fornicating idiot!”

Now, you tell me true... can you think of any other word that could possibly convey the same enthusiastic intent as this word conveys?

Years ago, I had a phrase that I used to tell people when I really thought their ideas were “looney tunes,” which went something like this:

Your cranial rectal inversion is so deep you are going to need a glass bellybutton to see out of.

And yes, I am very much aware that you are not supposed to end your sentence with a preposition.